My Daughter Was Bullied Because She Has Short Hair

So about a month ago Lexi wanted to cut off all of her hair. Part of me just was not sure if it was a good idea. I was worried she would regret her choice, or that someone might even make fun of her.  Then one day she looked at me and said “Mommy, I do not feel beautiful with long hair, it’s hot, and I just hate it.” I told my husband and we both 100% agreed that it meant that she needed a hair cut.

Girl, short hair, salon
Lexi Loo

Our child is bold, fierce, and independent.

We LOVE it. Some how we lucked into having a very strong-willed, smart, leader, who is a power house. And my husband and I are the right parents for the job. The majority of people have loved her cut, honestly it complements her.

Tonight when she was playing in the indoor play park at the YMCA, there were little boys that were bullying her. They called her little boy, made her feel unconformable. She didn’t tell Nate and I until we had left. She bursted into tears and told us what happened.  We told her we can’t help her if she doesn’t tell us, and comforted her the best we could. We thought that we had nipped the self-esteem issue in the butt. I was wrong.

We all got home, and I told Lexi to go get ready for bed. After I moved my plant out of the rain, I started to walk up stairs and I heard bawling and growling. Then I walked into our bathroom and she was trying to pull her hair so it would grow so no one would think she was a boy.  To look into your five year-old’s eyes and see huge tear drops pouring out, you realize that you really need to sit down and have a talk.

It’s not just that she was being bullied, it’s much deeper than that.

My husband finds me and our daughter in the bathroom talking about the problem that happened. He started to pull up people like Emma Watson, and P!nk to show her that she is not the only girl with short hair. Then he keeled down and looked at Lexi in her eyes and said ‘Do you know why those boys are bullying you?” She shook her head no. He said “It’s because they are sexist, they believe that because you are a girl you shouldn’t have short hair.” So we explained that this applies to anything, being smart, playing soccer, being strong. Also, it also applies to a boy who might have long hair.

In conclusion I stood there and looked at my husband, thinking how much generation to generation we evolve. He hit the nail on the head, and he empowered his daughter to stand up to sexism.  There is something special about a father that can look his daughter in the eye and explain sexism to her.

ball game, short hair, father daughter
Nate and Lexi

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10 Comments

  1. Kamie Berry

    May 4, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    I think your daughter is beautiful, and I love her haircut! I think it suits her perfectly. My daughter is dealing with bullies right now, too, mostly because she loves to read and mostly by boys. You made me wonder if sexism might be playing a role in her bullying, too. Hats off to both of you for recognizing that sexism is a real problem and for helping to empower your daughter to stand up to it.

    1. jordanloomis93

      May 5, 2017 at 1:56 am

      Aw thank you! Bullies are so hard to deal with, she has never been bullied before. I’m so sorry your daughter is dealing with bullies too. Sadly, this is something that wont go away, the best thing to do I assume is teach her how to handle it.

  2. Cassandra

    May 4, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    I have sat here for 5 minutes trying to find the right words to type because bullies are everywhere and you feel like you didn’t protect your child but what you and your husband did is you empowered her and that is beautiful. She will remember that.

    1. jordanloomis93

      May 5, 2017 at 1:57 am

      So true! The mom guilt was so strong. We were just a few feet away. I truly hope next time she tells us right away. Hopefully we helped her feel confident enough to stand up to bullies.

  3. Sarah

    May 4, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    First of all, I think your daughter is rocking that haircut – she looks great! I went through a similar thing growing up, I was a girl with a bowl cut until practically 6th grade. Your article was perfectly written, it truly pulled at my heart strings. I remember going through similar things, wearing a hat to cover my hair sometimes, dreaming of having long enough hair for a ponytail (I was the one who wanted my hair kept short, but it didn’t stop me from dreaming). My heart goes out to her and you guys. I think you handled the situation beautifully well.

    1. jordanloomis93

      May 5, 2017 at 1:59 am

      Aw thank you. It kills me to think she wants to change the way she looks at five just to make others happy. She really loves her hair! I told her I support what she chooses, but I love her short hair.

  4. Rochelle Hasselbach

    May 4, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Very good read and post! I wish there were more people who put this type of conversation out there. I to had short hair, mullets and just crazy hair and glasses, and now have dreads haha. I wish I had more support back then to understand that I was beautiful the way I was and that everyone is special and unique in our own ways which make us who we are. She is beautiful and teaching her to instill that within herself and not batting an eye to bullies will make her a stronger and more beautiful person. Battle it with love! Show her a picture of me from my blog facebook and show her my crazy hair and that I wear glasses and let her know to be herself as that is where she will find happiness and strength to not care what others think.

  5. Courtney

    May 4, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    Kids today go through so much…I wish I could hit the rewind button to when I was in school. Your daughter is beautiful! Do not let anyone tell her otherwise.

  6. Mary

    May 4, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    My daughter is also 5 and this breaks my heart to pieces. She has been bullied by one little girl in particular for over a year and then we found skateboarding which has really boosted her self esteem, but then I started to hear other girls call her weird. I started inviting those girls to skateboard with us and now we have a monthly all girl skateboard event where we talk about not bullying and kindness and helping in our community. I hope things get better for your little one. I was bullied when I was younger and I know how awful it feels. No child should ever feel that way.

  7. Jill Martin

    May 4, 2017 at 9:14 pm

    To read she was trying to pull her hair so it would grow so no one would think she was a boy just about undid me. Some may say that “sexist” is a strong word to describe what the boys said to her but that’s truly what it is! It’s sexism. Thank you for bringing attention to this. 💚

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